I cherish every second I spend talking to my Dad. Hearing his voice transports me to a place of peace. But now I’m thinking…if our relationship is this meaningful to me now, with all of the constraints of neglect and suffering, how much better could it be for me and for him? And, zooming out, what if every father and son did the best they could to strengthen their natural bond? How much more secure would we be as men? as communities? as families? as nations?
How to be the best Dad (and man) you can be
What are you doing with your sexual desire?
Next time you have the urge to masturbate, watch porn, or hook up with someone, I want you to ask yourself these questions:
- What haven’t I accomplished?
- How could I better myself right now?
- What things could I do right now to be the most selfless and loving and successful husband and father I can be?
- How powerful is my desire for sexual pleasure? Is that more powerful than my desire to be the right man for my family?
- Am I willing to deny my temporary sexual wants in order to build a lasting future?
- How can I creatively channel this urge into improving myself enough to be valuable to others?
- What goals am I working toward?
- If I could direct my sexual energy into living out my dreams, would it be worth sacrificing temporary sexual gratification? (If not…your dreams aren’t big enough).
- And (lastly)–what would make me proud of myself in this moment?
For me, the answer to that last question is never to play with myself… (I’ve lived that life, and I wasn’t proud of who I was, or of my nonexistent accomplishments….) The answer is writing, or planning for my future, or reading, or in any way to do the best I can.
When I’m mindful f my sexuality, and when I ask myself the right questions, I guide myself to become the best version of me. And that’s what has made my life worth living; it’s what has made my writing worth sharing; it’s what has given me independence through my dream job.
So now it’s time for the most important question of all….
Will you have the courage to take the hard path?