2 Simple Steps to Get Your Adult Millennial Child Out of the House

Are you a frustrated millennial parent?

You paid for college, paid for his apartment, paid for everything… but he’d rather play videogames in your basement. You’re torn, and you can’t decide whether living at home is helping or hurting him. Your adult millennial child needs help before both of you go nuts.

But you can’t just kick him to the curb. He’s you’re son. You love him.

What do you do about your adult millennial child?

2 years ago I was your son. I slept on my mom’s couch and squabbled with my teenage sisters over who’d pick up dog crap. At 25, I should’ve been anywhere but mom’s. But I wasn’t.

I couldn’t keep a job longer than six months. Though I succeeded in college, I lost interest and dropped out before completing my second year. My only stints of independence were fake—I just clung to a girlfriend instead of my parents.

And my mom…she had no clue what to do. Her all consuming thought was: “How do I get my son out of the house?”

I was her first adult millennial child out of five who hadn’t launched. My older siblings all had families and degrees, and even my little brother had been fully independent for 4 years by then. Then there was me: no job, no degree, no confidence…no purpose. No one could’ve predicted I’d make it where I am in two short years.

But here I am–an independent millennial!

Today I write for the best companies in the world—here’s a recent article for Fitbit—and I earn more in an hour than I used to make in 2 weeks as a full time cashier. I also earn a full time living as a life coach and writing instructor. But more than any financial measure of success, I get to help hundreds of thousands of people achieve success through my passion. Ironically, I’m now an asset to frustrated millennial parents, like my mom three years ago.

How did I achieve independence so quicly? I’m going to show you exactly how I made such a dramatic transition. If you share these steps with your dependent adult child, he will be out of the house in one year or less—I guarantee. And you’ll never have to ask–“How do I get my son out of the house?” again.

Step 1- Eliminate low value habits.

Life is what you make it; everyone knows that. But people aren’t as quick to acknowledge that their lives are made up of habits, which they have complete control of. That was me.

But after I’d squandered 25 years, I realized that no one was going to hand me the life I wanted. So I got smart about my decisions.

I found that 95% of my habits weren’t bringing me any closer to my goals. In fact, they were shattering my confidence. So I eliminated all the low value habits that kept me from success.

I accomplished nothing during the 3 hours I spent checking social media and email. I wasted 2 hours reading news—the latest disasters, scandals, corrupted government officials, etc. And after I got bored the computer, I’d sit down and watch TV or play videogames for a couple of hours. All these habits temporarily eased my mind. But because I never accomplished anything, they destroyed my confidence.

So I let it all go—all of the incoming information that put me in reaction mode.

Action step:

Put your adult child on a low information diet as part of the terms for living with you. No TV, no video games, no social media, no smart phone—not until they’re earning money and saving up. Your millennial child is still at home because it’s more comfortable than living on the street; it’s easy. That’s why you’ve got to shatter their comfort zone. Do it by having them eliminate their low value habits.

Step 2- Add in high value habits

Once you’ve eliminated the offending habits, it’s time to inundate your millennial with success routines. These are the habits that will boost your child’s confidence and build the skills they need to succeed in the real world.

Action steps:

1-Get them to start a journal

Journaling is the most important part of my success. It was the first time I ever reflected on my life: who I was, what I wanted, how I could make a difference. 15 minutes a night gave me the insight I needed to change my decision making forever.

Writing them down, I clearly saw how my choices were influencing the way I felt. Good decisions—learning, working, exercising—made me feel confident and capable. Bad decisions—like compulsive email, facebook, and phone checking—made me feel defeated and powerless.

Journaling reminded me to do more of the good and less of the bad. It gave me more control over my decisions. It helped me to know myself. And that knowledge gave me the direction I needed to fulfill my purpose and reach independence.

2-Assist them in planning out their days

I noticed that I was 100% likelier to accomplish something if I wrote it down. So I started writing all my goals, from writing, to reading, to pitching, to exercising, and making money. I made a ritual of taking my insights from journaling and plugging them into my plans for the next day. If I got bogged down in low value activities, I would plan on not doing them the next day. Then my days became a game to see how much I could accomplish. As I accomplished more, I felt more confident, more purposeful, more worthy. That gave me the courage to go out and get the jobs I needed, and to stay committed to my goals. The one goal I always strove to accomplish: finish the day knowing that I did my best.

3-Help them start an affirmation routine

I was living at my mom’s because I felt incompetent and incapable—because I felt like a failure. And my thoughts profoundly influenced how I felt. After reading about the power positive thinking, I started an affirmation routine that erased my limiting beliefs, that built my confidence, and that inspired me to be more than I had been.

I started out every morning going into the mirror and repeating these affirmations:

“I am worthy, valuable, confident, capable, useful, responsible, disciplined, patient, reliable, dependable, faithful, joyful, positive, professional, enthusiastic, energetic, decisive, grateful, generous, hopeful, inspired, creative, bold, adventurous, and independent.”

Basically, I said the opposite of what I had been, which was irresponsible, careless, and hopeless.

I was skeptic at first, because I knew I just wasn’t those things. But my mentor told me not to worry. The affirmations would work whether I believed in them or not.

2 years later, I am everything I said I’d be. Except I’m richer and happier than I could’ve imagined.

Conclusion

Have your adult millennial child start these high value habits as a condition for living with you. Purchase two notebooks: 1 for journaling, the other for planning. Then print out a list of affirmations that your child needs to hear every morning and throughout the day. Affirmations may seem fluffy, but I count them as one of the habits that changed my life. They opened me up to the idea of looking for the best in myself. And as I stayed committed, I found the best, then I shared the best through my profession. Now I’m comfortably independent while making a difference for others. Your child will be there in under a year.

What are you waiting for? Help your adult child create the high-value habits he or she needs to thrive and be an independent millennial.

And if you need help, I offer consulting for parents of millennials. Change your life today! 

Written by Daniel Dowling